08 Jun If you get freaked out, Prince Charles can help.
This weekend we are celebrating the Queen’s birthday in Australia. For those of you in the US don’t tune out; you now have some connection to the royal family since Meghan Markle’s recent marriage to Prince Harry.
Besides this post is for anyone who is introverted, fears public speaking or fears confrontations.
The Queen’s birthday paused me to think of how it must be, if you are born a royal and you are thrust into the spotlight of public speaking. Much like those who start progressing in their careers and have to present or have more difficult conversations with people; it comes with the territory.
What happens if you don’t like it? Actors, performers, and politicians seek the public spotlight, but royals inherit this role and sometimes you get the accidental manager or presenter.
Of course, the movie the King’s Speech was all about that.
King George VI never expected to be on the throne. It was only because of the abdication of his brother that he became king. He hated speaking publicly because he had a stammer.
Wow! Despite his obvious impediment, his fears, and aversions, he was still able to make speeches that were so important to his people during some of the darkest hours of the Second World War. He was able to connect to a greater purpose that helped him break through but, more importantly he received coaching from Australian, Lionel Logue and found tricks to help him make some very significant speeches.
Closer to our time, Prince Charles, the current heir apparent to the throne, also lacked confidence when younger and would get a bit ‘freaked out’ at certain times he was in public.
Anyone who has done public speaking or presented in public, will know that when we lack confidence and feel anxiety there is a natural tendency to want to cover ourselves up. People fold their arms, go into the ‘toilet pose,’ or use shields such as tables, lecterns, or their notes.
To help Prince Charles with his discomfort, he was coached to use a disguised arm barrier. Instead of looking like he was being defensive when he got anxious, he was taught to grab the opposing cufflink in his shirt sleeve and look like he was adjusting it. To the public he looked like he was making a clothing adjustment but to him, he got the relief of being able to hide behind his crossed arms and feel protected when he felt exposed and anxious.
George and Charles’ experiences show how there are skills, tricks and ways to getting beyond our emotional obstacles. Often because we have really strong negative reactions to certain events (like public speaking), we run a mile. We assume people are just naturally good or bad at certain skills, rather than finding the underlying principles that support good practice in those skills.
That is what Emotional Judo®: Communication Skills to Handle Difficult Conversations and Boost Emotional Intelligence is all about. It’s not about public speaking tricks; it’s about ten invisible structures that support you in difficult conversations, an area that brings up anxiety and a lack of confidence for many. Grab it at Amazon today.
Oh and one of the ten structures, EASE can help you when you are presenting, as well as when you have a tense conversation.